Wednesday, December 2, 2009

glossary additions

Today's instalments :-)

expert = person who knows everything, tells everyone that he knows everything, doesn't need to learn anything. Often an expert will tell you that he did //insert activity here// when you weren't even born, to show you how experienced he is. You are not allowed to notice that after all that time, he's still not doing it properly. Experts are numerous at horse sales, other gatherings of horse people and of course on internet forums and on youtube.

pussy-footsy = person with romantic notions about horses and their handling and riding, usually convinced that ALL can be achieved with endless patience and lots of patting. Doesn't mind spending 5 years trying to teach a horse to headshake on command, and doesn't mind being dragged, trodden on or wiped off by a horse. Talks about riding more than riding. Engages in endless hours of internet forum exchanges about teaching horses stuff and loves to opine on perceived wrongdoings of other horse people.

horse hugger = pussy footsy. Adapted from the term tree hugger.

purple ant(s) = imaginary monster lurking in forests, tall grass or behind objects, particularly dangerous if they tap dance or show their fangs. Only visible to horses.

intimate zone (aka the horse's ethic space) = any part of the horse which it doesn't like to have touched. Mostly the girl or boy bits, but especially in horses with the princess syndrome, this can be anywhere on the body. According to some pussy-footsies, horse trainers must respect and stay out of those zones.

keyboard rider = person who spends much more time on a keyboard in forum discussions about riding than on a horse. Adapted from the term "keyboard warrior" which describes the know it alls in martial arts who type much and fight never.

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